Curse You Oldtimers!

Oldtimers = Alzheimers = horrible, cruel, slow demise.
My grandfather has this horrid disease.  He's been having dementia for about 6 or 7 years now that has been progressively getting worse as the years move on.  He has diabetes and Congestive Heart Failure {for which he's had oh about 5 open heart surgeries for...all of those within 2 years of each other}.  Both of these are known contributing factors for Alzheimers.  In addition, with each heart episode, he slipped farther and farther into depression.  He went from creating beautiful wooden clocks and toys and being pretty active with walking to just sitting in his recliner watching the news 24/7. 

We got him a dog after the open heart surgeries which greatly improved his health so much that he has not had any heart trouble in almost 7yrs!! However, this still made him scared of doing anything other than sitting and watching tv all day every day. 

This made him slowly slip farther down.  It slowly made him forget little things, then progressed to forgetting more, then within the last 3yrs not being able to really walk without shuffling.  This past year he has really taken a turn for the worst.  He began to forget who he is, where he was, who my grandmother is, etc.  He also kept falling and cutting himself and bruising himself and losing control.  My grandmother kept a lot of the last part from us, but my dad started noticing and began the process of researching.  The doctor agreed that he probably had Alzheimers. 

It kept progressing until my grandfather fell out of the bed about 2 months ago and that bump sent him further into Alzheimers and caused bleeding on his brain.  My grandmother finally realized that she could no longer take care of him by herself {we've been trying to convince her of this for the past year}.  It sort of just happened that the next transition after they got his brain swelling down to go to the psych ward for further observation.  My family was not too happy about this!! He was there for a couple of weeks fighting mad and wanting to go home one minute and not knowing where he was the next minute. 

My parents finally got my grandfather into the VA Home in our hometown.  Even though he's in the Alzheimers ward and being watched by nurses and aides, he's still fallen a couple of times.  Now, mind you the bed he fell out of is low to the ground and was supposed to have foam on the floor next to it in case he fell {this was the first night and the foam wasn't down yet...it's there now} and the second time he unbuckled himself from his wheelchair and fell face forward.  Each time he hits his head it progresses the Alzheimers even more than it already is. 

My parents and grandmother and aunts/uncles visit hime everyday bringing him food from home and just visiting.  Some days are good and he knows who's there and where he is....other days are bad and he has no clue who's there and why he's not at home.  It's so so so sad.  Even more sad that I can't be there.  It will be interesting to see if he knows who I am when I go home for Christmas. 

It's just a sad situation.  My grandfather is not what you call a very loving man.  In 60+ years of marriage, he never once told my grandmother he loved her.  She was 16 and wanted to get out of the house, so she married this handsome war hero.  He was verbally abusive to her throughout their marriage.  However, he never was mean to my dad or his siblings...just not very involved in their lives.  He does hug the grandkids and makes small talk, still no "I love you"'s though.  Even through all of that, he holds a special, dear place in our hearts.

We think now that the reason he treated my grandmother the way he did was because he was suffering from the then unknown PTSD from his experience in WWII. He never talks about his time over there other than a few details like he sat in the courtroom at the Neuremburg Trials and that he was a Pallbearer at Gen. Patton's funeral.  Now that he's talking out of his head, we know that he experienced some pretty horrifying situations over there.  Even though she was treated poorly and is free to do what she wants, my grandmother does love him and is lonely now.  She goes shopping with my cousin and gets to watch what she wants on tv, but she's still lonely and says it's too quiet at the house.  It's not like the couple in The Notebook, but it really makes me so sad to see them like this. Together all these years, now separated all of a sudden.  He doesn't understand why he can't go home.  She can't stand that she can't take care of him anymore.  It's just so heartbreaking.

My dad walked in the Walk to End Alzheimers in my hometown in September (Alzheimers Awareness Month).  My hubby and I are walking tomorrow at the walk here in Tucson.  If you would like to donate to the Alzheimers Association to provide research, treatment, and care for those with Alzheimers and their families, please donate here on my page Team GL.

My grandfather during WWII.